Today’s Prayer to Passage will be arriving alongside the book ‘Tarot for Dummies’ by Amber Jayanti.

My prayer today is, “Dear God, Upon what should I be focusing my attention?”

Following my prayer, I held the closed book in my hands and opened it to reveal God’s answer:

“Nine of Swords
Universal archetype: A woman is seated in bed with her head in her hands, perhaps in prayer. Nine swords, symbolizing mental formulation and analysis, hang overhead. Psychic surgery, or surgery on one’s erroneous thought patterns, is being performed so that healing may occur. The image suggest how painful it can be to let go of what you want and accept what is.

Are you agonizing over a decision?
What are you feeling miserable about?
Are you a habitual worrier?
What are you mourning, or what do you forsee mourning?
Is anger beneath your depression?
How might you safely release your anger?
Who could shed some light on your situation?
After doing all in your power, are you surrendering to a higher power?
Are you frustrated because others misunderstand you?
What’s lowering or raising your self-esteem?
Are you having difficulty sleeping?
Are you waking up anxious?
Might you benefit from a medical checkup?
What are you coming to terms with?
What are your tears releasing or cleansing?
Are you praying for guidance?
Are you admitting your powerlesness?
What pain are you enduring alone?
Who is your hardest critic?
Are you thinking too much and acting too little?
Are you feeling self-destructive?
Does mental illness run in your family?
Might being proactive relieve your oppressive situation?”
—AMBER JAYANTI

Just to paint you a picture, I was in bed when I said this prayer. And my head was in my hands before I opened the book. So, that was a “what?!” moment. I am my own hardest critic. That won’t change. Mental wellness (not mental illness) runs in my family. We have passed on faith through generations. I posted a blog titled ‘I’llnes vs. We’llness,’ which explains that faith means life is done in partnership, and there exists “we’llness.” I don’t feel depressed, angry, worried, or misunderstood. Again, faith.

I am praying for guidance (I think this one goes without saying), and I do admit my powerlessness. I am due for three medical checkups. It’s nearing the end of the insurance year, and I need to get to an eye doctor, a dentist, and a nutritionist. I’m not trying to be glib; I honestly have that on my list of things to do. Last night I was up late praying and typing this passage, and this morning I awoke a bit anxious to complete this blog entry (figured it was best that I sleep on it). Discernment and experience in my relationship with God shed light on my situation, every single time.

The common theme lately is that I know my mission is to witness to spirits in Heaven (every time I convey that it sounds just as crazy as it did the first time). So, with the blog, I am beginning to wonder what its purpose is, as a blog is more earthly than Heavenly (facetiously). Unless there is some sort of Doogie Howser thing going on in Heaven, and spirits are catching me typing a summation of my day, I am blogging to the wind. Unless you are reading this, which you are. And I just answered my own question. This blog is for you.