HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE

Today’s Prayer to Passage has me returning to the book that inspired this sacred concept. It is ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Today I pray, “Dear God, Please provide direction and guidance to an affirmation of my self-expression in this medium, the Internet. Anoint my soul, Heavenly God. Place your blessing upon me and give me peace. Now and forever, Amen.”

I’ve opened the book to page 42. The passage reads as follows:

“For years we have received the gossip and spells from the words of others, but also from the way we use our word with ourselves. We talk to ourselves constantly and most of the time we say things like, “Oh, I look fat, I look ugly, I’m getting old, I’m losing my hair. I’m stupid, I never understand anything. I will never be good enough, and I’m never going to be perfect.” Do you see how we use the word against ourselves? We must begin to understand what the word is and what the word does. If you understand the first agreement, be impeccable with your word, you begin to see all the changes that can happen in your life. Changes first in the way you deal with yourself, and later in the way you deal with other people, especially those you love the most.”
—DON MIGUEL RUIZ

Self-love is a way of being. I am reminded of a great and simple quote; “Hurt people hurt people.” When someone is wounded physically or emotionally—by another person, persons, or situation—they themselves may turn and harm another along the forward path. “Forward” becomes distorted, however, and the chain reaction could lead only to shackles. It is compassion that sets us free. And compassion begins with ourselves. When we love ourselves, we are given permission to break the chain. Sage wisdom and child-like playfulness unite to bring an intuition to nurture and an empathy toward being nurtured.

My mother held me close to her heart in moments when I was hurt as a child. Even in adulthood when I have been hurting, she tells me, “I wish you were here so I could hold you.” That safe, maternal love is the same sense of compassion that I reflect unto others in need of it today. Have you encountered a person who shows signs of being hurt, and rather than mirroring their self-loathing—their present way of being—you give, freely, love and compassion? This offering, while requiring a conscious choosing of it, promotes peace and advances affinity. What a lovely way to live.

Being impeccable with our word opens self-love, which in turn opens love for others, no matter their disposition. Sometimes, the easiest persons with whom to be careless are those we love the most. It is a difficult psychology to understand. Yet no matter who hurt them before they approach us, if we are tuned in to the loving acceptance of our own human experience, it overflows. Our love runneth over. There is a true abundance. And scarcity is not only scarce, it has vanished completely.

A modern analogy is this: Love is like a phone call. Our call to God to be loved was accepted before we were even born. And we are now called by God to love one another. I charge my own phone. I don’t wait on anyone to charge it for me. When fully charged, I am full of self-love, free to communicate compassion with others. As long as I’ve got reception, my call to love will be answered.

Love thyself. Express thyself. Express thy love to others.

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