JOURNEY TO THE NETHERLANDS: DAY NINE

Today’s Prayer to Passage continues within the ancient scriptures of the “Nag Hamadi”. This month’s spiritual devotion to these texts will be taking place between June 1 – June 30, 2017.

Today I pray, “Dear God, Today is day nine of my transformational journey to the Netherlands. I will continue this prayer as the evening arrives. Thank You for this journey. Amen.”

Following my prayer, I held the closed book in my hands and opened it to reveal this passage:

“WITH FAITH RISE

If you cannot believe, you cannot be persuaded. My son, these matters belong to the domain of faith, and not to persuasive argument, in asserting that the dead will rise. Among the philosophers in the world there may be one who believes. Certainly that philosopher will rise. And let that philosopher here on earth not believe that he is returning to the self by himself, and because of faith. We have known the human son, and we believe that he rose from among the dead. We say of him, “He is the destroyer of death.”

The goal as well as its believers is great. And the thinking mind of believers will not disappear, nor will the mind of those who know. We are chosen for salvation and redemption, since from the beginning we were predestined not to fall into the folly of the ignorant. We shall enter into the wisdom of those who have known the truth. Those who have wakened to the truth cannot abandon it. The system of the pleroma is strong. A small part of it is what broke loose to make up the world. What encompasses everything, the realm of all, did not come into being. It was. So never doubt the resurrection, my son Rheginos.”
—NAG HAMADI SCRIPTURES

This morning was my final morning of complimentary hotel breakfast. A woman assisting with preparing the breakfast, whom I had seen in the room all week, finally approached me this morning. “Good morning! You have been here for a while? Are you here for business or pleasure?”

“Pleasure. And I leave tomorrow. It has been nine days. I love it here.”

Following breakfast I went upstairs to my hotel room, showered, dressed, primped (that’s a funny word I have not utilized so many days in a row… ever.), and met my host-heavenly for our final date. Lunch at a quaint and stylish Italian cafe within the City Center. The cafe is called Bar Moustache. We sat next to an open window. It was raining. It has been bright and cheerful for much of my stay here, and today was the first day I experienced the rain showers of the Netherlands. The rain is so calming. I love the potter patter of rain on windows and throughout city streets.

The rain puddle water continued to be splashed upon me as bicyclists rode through the pool of rainfall outside. So I moved to the other side of the table and continued one of our last live and in person conversations of this journey. It was a more silent energy. We could feel the departure in the air, like the electricity of a lightening bolt about to strike. It was a tower moment. We knew. We both knew it was nearing its end. And for what it’s worth, it has been magical.

I asked him to kiss me on the stoop of the restaurant. We kissed. He said that he sometimes feels uncomfortable with public displays of affection. Though we had been kissing publicly in the streets all week, I could feel his emotional detachment set in. It was painful to experience. He offered to take me to the cinema to see a movie. Thursday is considered “date night” amid local circles in Amsterdam. And he wanted to take me on a date. I could see the wheels spinning in his mind. He was really considering, then countered himself with, “No. You have to be up early to catch your flight tomorrow. We’d better not.” Awful. I hate goodbyes, too.

He walked me home. We wanted to hold hands, as we had been throughout our walks this week. Yet this was another thing we just couldn’t bring ourselves to do. It was too much. There had to become a detachment. It was too much for his Scorpio sun and my Cancer moon emotional watery energies to take. We stood outside my hotel and talked and kissed and talked and kissed. It was brief. And it was a spiraling down. I have no Scorpio in my astrological chart, and I do not recognize that spiraling down nature to where he feels so at home. I was completing something g I had absolutely no desire to be complete. I had fallen in love. And I knew it. Only… I couldn’t bring myself to verbalized it. I could only express it in a kiss goodbye.

I went up to my hotel room, freshened up, came back down to the lobby, booked tomorrow morning’s taxi to the airport with the concierge, stepped out for a short walk around the neighborhood, returned and went back up to my hotel room, packed my bags, and turned on the TV for more news broadcasts in Dutch. Soothing.

There is a constancy here. It’s searching. And I am ultimately beyind proud of myself. I am complete. As I have always been complete. There

really is nothing for which to search. There is nothing to find. I’ve always had it. I’ve always had it. Thank you, Glenda the Good Witch.

And tomorrow… an ocean. And above the clouds again. And a soaring summation of all of this. And I’ll find my self asking myself… Was it good? Was it good… for you? And I will reply, as I am apt to do, “Yes.”

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